“Americans are getting fatter…and shorter” said the headline in the Venice Florida Gondolier Sun last month. The fatter bit was easy to swallow (ha ha), but the second part of this news–the lessening heights–caught me short (yeah, another bad pun).
Here are the average body measures for 2016 gleaned by the Gondolier Sun (Bob Mudge) from this just-released survey by the Department of Health & Human Services (HHS):
- Men 5 feet 9 inches, 197.8 pounds, 40.3 inch waist
- Women 5 feet 3.6 inches, 170.5 pounds, 38.7 inch waist
Mudge reported that the average man is four-tenths of an inch shorter than in 2006. At this rate I figure that men will be reduced to the size of a mouse by the year 3716.
Meanwhile, the New York Times (Nicholas Bakalar) noted that men have gained 8 pounds since 2002. Doing my math on weights projected to 3716 I calculate a massive 1170 pounds for these future mouse-sized men. That is dense (as are my projections)!
My frivolous extrapolations notwithstanding, the realities of actual measurements by HHS are harsh. Is it too late for New Year’s resolutions? If not, I am working on increasing my height in 2019.
“People tend to overreport their height and underreport their weight.”
– Cynthia L Ogden, epidemiologist and senior author of HHS’s National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey